ON THE COUCH: What should I do with my parent’s ashes

DEAR Jasminda,

My parents recently indicated they would like their ashes scattered at a beach.

I want to be composted.

Could I keep some of their ashes to go in with my remains?

Patricia L.

DEAR Patricia,

Though this is a rather macabre subject, it is important that your parents’ wishes are adhered to.

Since they seem open to talking about their end-of-life arrangements, I don’t think it is out of the realm of diplomacy to run your own wishes past them relating to your desire to retain some of their ashes to go with your remains.

In fact, I think it’s a lovely gesture.

There are, however, some considerations you may need to consider.

If your parents have a specific religious affiliation, there may be rules around dividing and/or scattering ashes.

These rules also vary over time.

In 2023, for example, Pope Francis relaxed rules around what Catholics are able to do with a loved one’s ashes, including keeping a small amount in a sacred place.

Many Buddhists and Hindus are all for cremation, but other religions aren’t, so it’s important to clarify any uncertainties.

As for composting, Patricia, I like the idea.

I think a small amount of ash would be a very viable component to add to the composting mix.

Funerals cost thousands of dollars, and burying people in synthetic materials is bad for the environment.

Sustainable, low-cost alternatives will no doubt become more popular as more people look to funeral arrangements that mirror their social and environmental mindset and ethics.

Carpe diem,

Jasminda.