ON THE COUCH WITH JASMINDA: The dog dishwasher

DEAR Jasminda,

MY friend lets her dog ‘prewash’ the dinner plates and dessert bowls by licking up any leftovers before she puts them in the dishwasher.

 As much as I love going there for dinner, I am disgusted by this unhygienic act.

How do I sensitively raise this issue?

Isla F.

DEAR Isla,

PEOPLE with dogs often treat them like small humans but there are a number of issues with letting dogs lick the leftovers from dishes.

Perhaps you could reframe the problem by suggesting that you are worried about the potential health risks for the dog.

There are numerous human foods that are problematic for dogs including avocado, chocolate, grapes, macadamia nuts and onion.

Foods with too much salt are also an issue, so the safest bet is to feed the dog good quality pet food that contains all the essential vitamins and minerals in their own bowl.

A further issue is that a dog that gets to lick human dishes will tend to hover around the dinner table waiting for this special post-meal treat.

This encourages antisocial behaviour and can make guests feel exceedingly uncomfortable.

Something along the lines of, ‘Roger is a beautiful Doberman, but I feel a bit violated when his nose is resting in my crotch while he waits for leftovers,’ may do the trick, even with the most ignorant pet owners.

There is also, as you state, the issue of hygiene.

Now I don’t know about your friend’s dog, but just this week I have watched my own dog dig up and chew on a month-old bone, lick my other dog’s ears, lick his own – how do I say this politely? – nether regions, devour a used tissue, and treat the kitty litter tray in the laundry like an all-you-can-eat buffet (promptly vomiting and then eating that too).

Now that is not a tongue that I would like to come in contact with my dinner plate, even if it was followed by the ‘sanitise cycle’ on the dishwasher.

Perhaps, if this behaviour continues, you could bring your own plate as a not-so-subtle indication of your unwillingness to accept this behaviour.

I don’t think there is any sensitive way to broach the subject, and whatever you try will no doubt insult your friend in much the same way that her behaviour has offended you.

Carpe diem,

Jasminda.